Election shenanigans

So, today we come home (having finally extricated C from BestfriendJ’s house), and found these dumped in our letter box.

Now, my first thought was: “FOUR leaflets? This must be the Tory targeting of safe Labour seats that the papers have been talking about.”

Then I noticed a sliver of red neatly poking out between the pages. Now that is odd. Never in my 40-odd years of  wandering in and out of politics have I seen any trace of red on a Conservative election leaflet. It’s blue, blue and white, and more blue – with a teeny bit of green when they changed their logo from the torch to the scribbly tree.

Obviously, I had to take a look. It’s always interesting to read what the Conservatives are saying in Peckham. Their election leaflets tend to be less hardcore Daily Mail than in other parts of the country: with lots of emollient language about fairer asylum procedures, more nice schools for nice children, and cuddling kittens. OK, I made the bit up about cuddling kittens.

They also have to tread carefully around here because the council is a Liberal Democrat/ Conservative alliance, and inflammatory phrases about Broken Britain Council Estates and failing schools naturally leads a voter to ask why the hell they haven’t done anything about it when they run the bloody schools  and social housing.

So I open the first leaflet up and…what do I find?

Inside the Conservative leaflet

Each Conservative leaflet had, neatly tucked inside, one of these. Now, how did those get there? And what muppet put four of them through our letter box?

I have a couple of theories:

1) This is a case of outsourcing gone awry. The neatness and professional folds suggests that the local Conservatives can’t actually be arsed to do their own leaflet stuffing (or, perhaps their own leafletting), so they’ve got a local print firm to print and distribute the leaflets. And some dangerous insurrectionist in the print firm thought it might be a laugh to insert WRP leaflets in with the Tory ones, thus getting the Tories to pay for WRP distribution. In which case, comrade. I salute you for being a cheeky bugger and I hope you don’t get caught.

2) A Local Conservative bribed their teenage offspring to deliver the leaflets. Teenage offspring is a secret (or not-so-secret) Trotskyist, and inserted the leaflets while Parent wasn’t looking. Once WRP offspring (let’s call him Corin) got to the end of Kings Grove,he  thought “Meh…I could be drinking vodka at Bar Story with Julian and the boys…”, shoved leaflets through the last door in the street and ambled off.

3) The local Conservative Association really has entered into an electoral alliance with the Workers Revolutionary Party. Stranger things have happened…

Just a quick note.  I have it on good authority that the Conservative candidate is a very nice chap, committed and sincere, and nobody has the faintest idea what he’s doing in the Conservative Party. That doesn’t mean, however, that I have strayed from the way of the Non Aligned Lefty Cat Lover, so I’m still not voting for him..


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