Five reasons why a McCoy Tyner gig is not a good second or third date

  1. People are there for the MUSIC, which means they don’t want to hear you wittering on about your day at work, even if you are whispering.
  2. In fact, whispering is even worse than murmuring or talking properly because everybody knows that you’re trying to be quiet, so they’re less likely to tell you to SHUT UP
  3. Taking your shoes off and draping your stockinged feet over the seat in front may relax you, but some of us had to endure the site of your holey socks at close proximity. Since when did the Barbican turn into your living room?
  4. During a solo, everybody SHUTS UP, even the other musicians, and LISTENS to the soloist. If I can endure drum solos in silence, so can you.
  5. And yes, you are too old to snog in public. The divine trumpet solos were not enhanced by your face-sucking accompaniment.