Conversation in Comet (yes yes I know…) shop at the weekend. We are contemplating an unfeasibly cheap toaster and wondering if it will defrost frozen bread.

ME – We can’t slice the bread when it’s frozen anyway, so maybe we don’t need a defrosting thingy

MR P – Yes we can: we’ve got a freezer knife for slicing frozen bread.

ME – What do you mean a freezer knife? How would you know what a freezer knife looks like?

MR P – I know what freezer knife looks like ACTUALLY, because my mother gained a certain degree of notoreity by holding up an entire flight to Belfast while she explained that the knife in her hand luggage was for the cutting of frozen bread only, and that she wasn’t going to hold it to the pilot’s throat and demand to be taken to Havana. And we’ve got one of those knives.

My daughter carries those genes.

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