Big Brother gets interesting shock!

Well, despite swotting like maniacs and living in their little Cub Scout uniforms for nearly a week, the HMs failed their Cub Scout entrance exams. Jon the geek took charge of tent construction, taking over an hour and a half to erect a perfectly symmetrical cub tent, with the rest of the house looking on sarcastically. They passed the knots test with flying colours, paraded at all hours of the day with seconds’ notice. But when it came to the questions on Cub Scout lore and history, one HM gave completely the wrong answer.

So, for the second week running, the housemates have lost over half their food budget. They now have £36-worth of food to share between ten people. And whose fault is it? Federico Finhead’s that’s who.

Federico Finhead lost them the previous challenge – he broke the rules to get some chewing gum when he was supposed to be pedalling on a pedalo. This time, he misheard the question and recited the Cub Scout Promise rather than the Cub Scout Law.

The HMs’ reaction to losing the test was…well, it was quite violent. Lots of shouting and storming up and down the kitchen. Jon muttered: “Hmm…time for some weeding I think”, and tried to disappear off to his spot in the vegetable garden). Federico insisted that he got his question right, and then discovered later that it was indeed he who had lost the challenge.

He’s not telling the other HMs, the little weasel. Instead he’s lying in bed looking tortured, like that’s going to win our sympathy…

Meanwhile, Justine has gathered the women around her in a girly huddle. The men sit in one area while the women sit in another. Most of the time Justine’s lot bitch about how creepy Jon is, how horrible the boys are, how they’re going to have to assert their rights to the food (Justine’s been eating most of the food) and alcohol. It’s like school, it really is.

The men aren’t much better. Jon stays apart from it all in his beautifully-tended veg patch, as does Nush the Hippie Chick. Actually, I’m starting to warm to Nush. She’s not as dippy as she looks.

Cameron the Baptist has demonstrated the classic fundamentalist ignorance of science so many times that I think Jon has made it his life’s work to give Cameron a major crisis of faith before he has to leave.


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